The Judge of Losing

Early July 2012:  We had some friends over for dinner the other night.  After dinner all the kids adjourned to the backyard.  Somehow G convinced all the older kids (7, 8, 10, 11) to play a game where they took turns jumping out of our plum tree and she would score their landings.  At first, the best score available was a 5.9, and in order to earn it you had to land in a perfect frog pose - fingertips touching the ground but NOT palms, knees splayed and bent to a squat.  The sweet 10 and 11 yr old boys totally cooperated, trying again and again, and accepting G's scores without arguing.  We heard comments about how hard it was to land with just your fingertips touching.

And then all of a sudden, G revealed that you could score up to a 10.  But you had to land standing fully upright, knees straight.  So the older boys begin jumping on the grass trying to land with straight knees.  Again, totally hilarious to watch them trying to perfect their technique for the 6 yr old judge's score.  And then S gets furious about a score that G gave him and decides he wants to be a judge as well.  The two of them start screaming at each other, with G delivering the ultimate blow, "You, you are the judge of LOSING!"

J and I just about died trying to keep a straight face during all this.  Priceless.  S was so upset, so J explained to him about the role of the "East German" judge in many Olympic ice skating competitions past -- the judge who totally plays favorites -- implying that perhaps G was being the East German judge.  The game died out quickly after the screaming, but the quote will live on.

G has vetoed having any photos of her yelling posted.  So you'll just have to imagine her fury.